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Effects of domestic violence on children: indicators you may be overlooking |
 Boy aged 8
“I am in my room. I go to bed. I put the pillow over my head.
I hold the pillow over my ears so that I don’t have to listen.”
At Child and Family Health we see many children who are referred because of attention/concentration problems, anxiety, depression, school refusal, aggression, sleep disturbances, self harming behaviours, continence problems, and others. In working with those children and their families, in many cases, it becomes clear that these referring problems are some of the symptoms of the compounded impact of domestic abuse within the child’s family.
The NSW Department of Health defines domestic abuse as “violent, abusive or intimidating behaviour carried out by an adult against a partner or former partner to control … that person … . Some of the forms of domestic violence are physical assault, sexual assault, emotional abuse, social abuse (being isolated socially or geographically against one’s will) and economic abuse (having restricted or limited access to or control over money and other resources).” (1)
Previous and more recent studies consistently show that children living in environments where domestic violence occurs may experience harm on a number of levels, in the short and long term.(2) Despite this it is not uncommon for many professionals to overlook the relationship between the presenting symptoms and the home environment within which these problems have developed. Nor is it uncommon, for many different reasons, for the child and their family to resort to denial, minimisation and rationalisation regarding this home context.
For example a 6-year old girl was referred for counselling due to her high levels of generalised worry and self harm. Upon presentation the following symptoms/indicators were present: significant level of preoccupation regarding her mother’s well being; generalised anxiety; trichotillomania and other forms of self harm, such as pinching and biting herself until she cried; sleep disturbance; restlessness during the day; at school teachers described her as being compliant and wanting to placate those in authority so as to “keep the peace”; at home her behaviour oscillated between taking a pseudo-parenting role with her siblings and her mother, and behaving aggressively towards them; at both school and home, she showed a low sense of self worth indicated by persistent self-criticism.
Initially this might have been thought of as a case of generalised anxiety disorder (3), however once trust was established in the therapeutic relationship, the girl was able to disclose her experience with domestic abuse. She had lived with domestic violence all her life. This had taken the form of repeatedly witnessing physical assaults by her father towards her mother, hearing her father constantly belittle and yell at her mother, and her father not allowing her mother to leave the house without him. It is important to highlight that in this case the mother wasn’t left with obvious signs of physical assault. Further the mother when asked about her relationship with her partner would discount her injuries and rationalise the father’s actions towards her in a way that made her culpable.
The Child Death Review Team conducted 21 case reviews of the 21 children who died in the 2000 – 2001 period where there was confirmed or suspected abuse and/or neglect. The team found that 18 children came from families where there was a history of domestic violence. As professionals it is our responsibility, and our duty of care to the children who consult us, to stay vigilant to the possibility of domestic abuse.
Lisa McPhie is a child and family counsellor, child protection and Claudia Valenzuela is a child and family psychologist, NRAHS.
References
(1) N.S.W Frontline Procedures for the Protection of Children and Young People.
(2) To name a few: James, M. (1994) Child Abuse Prevention; Blanchard, A. (1999), Caring for Child Victim; Herman, J. (1992), Trauma and Recovery; Briere, J.M. (1992), Child Abuse Trauma……
(3) Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 4th Edition
1995 American Psychiatric Association Washington, DC
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